Movie Review: He’s Just not that Into You

18 06 2011

I knew I was going to eventually start a wordpress the moment I saw one, how clean they all look, I love it. I just finished watching on TV “He’s Just Not that Into You” now, I don’t know how it started, I came into the movie I’m not sure how late exactly, couldn’t have been too far into it- I watched an hour and a half of it after all. Any way, there’s all these different couples different stages of life, blah, blah. One was infuriating, the movie is supposed to be mostly about the mistakes women make in relationships, and while I didn’t really like the way it was presented and gave off that terrible stench of making women out to be desparate for love. I’m going to try and take a positive spin and say that they were just trying to say that women really shouldn’t be so eager for that feeling of being in loooove.
BUT, I will say this, there were two couples that were really beautifully portrayed, because it was so much closer to reality. One was that they had broken up because one (Jennifer Aniston’s character) wanted to get married and (Ben Affleck’s character) didn’t understand why they had to get married since they were all ready committed to each other and they knew that. Now, I am guessing on that exact scenario since I did miss that part, but lets just say its an intelligently inferred guess. Her dad, with whom she’s very close, has a heart attack later in the movie and he’s there for her, no he doesn’t show up, running in the rain and they embrace and kiss. He’s doing the dishes, and bought groceries for her father, while her other sister’s three officially married title husbands are sitting on their asses drinking beer and watching golf or some other sport. He shows her that he’s a partner in life. And she tells him that he was more of a husband than the three put together. In the end the marriage proposal he tells her that he needs to make her happy so that he could possibly have an ounce of happiness.

If it were me now and some one who I had been with said that to me, I would have to say, no I can’t marry you. Marriage, relationships of any kind, they aren’t there to complete us. Relationships help us understand who we are, they teach us sure. But the self, fills the self. True that the self knows its existence through the other, but the self fills the self. Otherwise its just a form of codependency.

The other couple had been married for several years, and been together even longer. She is portrayed as kind of cold and uptight. He seems to be the perfect husband. But he doesn’t really want to be married. But he doesn’t really want to be alone either. He never wanted to be married it turns out, but really he got married because he was afraid of being alone. (It was nice to see that portrayed by a man btw.) He ends up cheating on her. With Scarlett Johansen, who ends up being stored in the closet of his office while wifey comes in to try and surprise him by spicing things up a bit. Scarlet Johansen tells him that he will never touch her again, and that he’s a pitiful excuse for a man and walks out (after the wife is gone).

While that part isn’t nearly as realistic, the way Jennifer Connelly’s character is kind of going crazy because the person she loves and has set her whole world on is continually lying to her face, that portrayal I felt was pretty accurate. She ends up deciding to divorce him after she finds a pack of cigarets in his pocket. Now her father died of lung cancer, and so she’s very anti-smoking. Plus he had repeatedly lied, looked into her eye and lied to her that he had quit. If he had lied about that I’m sure she realized that he also lied when after he told her about sleeping with some one else and she asked him if he wanted to try and fix the marriage, and he said yes.

In the end she starts over. Not with some one else to fill the holes. With herself.

That’s where I am now. I have started over with myself. Its been almost two years now since we separated. It would have been almost two years since I had heard his voice, too, but he called me the other day. I didn’t recognize his voice. Once he identified himself, I hung up. I haven’t changed my phone number yet, but I’ll do that before I move to Boston.

I’m leaving Texas soon. I’ve always imagined myself living elsewhere, but it was never Boston. I’m so excited about this move! I feel so free.




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