Liar.

17 11 2011

I’m such a liar. I lie all the time. But really its just about one thing. How I’m doing.

I’m doing terrible really. More days than not. And I didn’t wake up too late to make it to class on time.

I woke up and can’t bring myself to leave the house.

I woke up and felt as though I hadn’t slept.

I woke up and couldn’t bring myself to care.

I woke up and hate everything that I’m working on and if I get to the studio I’ll tear it all up…

I woke up and started crying.

I woke up and could barely breathe.

I woke up and feel like some one had been sitting on my chest all night.

I woke up and I’m shaking.

 

But life isn’t about how you’re doing, not actually. Its about pretending. And people don’t care how you’re actually doing, they just want you to smile.  And every time I smile, just for smiling sake, I tell a big fat lie.

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3 responses

18 11 2011
Geo

I’m sorry!
I don’t think that I’ve hurt you….
but your tornados
of hurts – of violation
of more – that simple words may never fully express
make me sad – for you
and Others – similarly Assaulted
by horrible People
or demons of other sorts

Don’t Want You
but wish
I could feel – that you’re
… Moving …. Towards or
Into a Space… of Hope

and More Joy – more Moments
You Want to Remember

Wish I could – Help
email – if you wish
Anonymity – Safety for You Most-Most
Necessary

You Deserve Caring – Self-Acceptance
Peace – May You Find it Sooner….

18 11 2011
amiablenotagreeable

I’m working on accepting where I am, who I am, and how I be. (And no that’s not a grammatical error)

I’m getting there. Admitting where I’m at is the first step.

17 11 2011
Gravitas

Hear, Hear…

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