still here

9 12 2011

I’m trying to let myself feel the complexity of my emotions. I’m trying to understand how its okay for me to regret marrying him. Regret dating him, regret, regret, regret so much.

Even though I wouldn’t be who I am, and I love who I am.

Its okay. So many of those things shouldn’t have happened.

Can I ever be at peace with what is though?

I want to stay in Boston. But I think waiting a year at least for grad school might be best. So that means I need to find a job. A job that will give me insurance, with really good mental health benefits that’s accepted by BIT. And I really, really hope that I could maybe continue to see my current counselor after May.

I really would prefer to not have to start completely over again.

I will however still be looking in to artist residencies. Which I’m very excited about but also am not going to stress about getting into them.




One response

10 12 2011

Most places require you to work six months or a year before benefits kick in, unless it’s like a salaried position or something. But don’t you have insurance now? I thought you didn’t get booted from your parents until 26

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