12 12 2011

Its here again that sick feeling. That thing in the pit of my stomach that I can’t tell if its from not eating or because I need to vomit. Have I been drinking too much again? Fear. Fear holds me like a prisoner. I want to shut the world out. I want everything to stop.


I can’t stop saying I.


You can do this, you can do this you can do this. You can Live. really live. There is no reason to be afraid there is no reason to be afraid. He can’t get you.  I’m afarid that if word gets out that I’m saying that he raped me in our hometown….that I’ll see him, again. Every time I go back I get terrified that I’m going to see him again. I can’t see him again. Or his brother, or any of his family.


I can’t do it.

Maybe I won’t recognize him. Maybe he won’t be there.


Am I a coward?




One response

14 12 2011

You’re not a coward.
This is awkward, but I’m deleting my account soon and don’t have time to make it pretty.
I want all of the people I follow to know this, although I don’t expect you to care. Reading about your struggles has meant a lot to me over the past few months, so I’m saying this anyway.
I’ve decided to get better.
My blog has been a way that I’ve kept secrets, so I’m leaving this site within the next few days. I explain all of this in my latest post, so check it out if you want to know more.
I wish you the best in your recovery, and in life in general.

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