Abuse: a guide

11 12 2013

Abuse is owning some one. Abuse is doing whatever you want with some one or getting them to do it.

For this to happen here are some helpful tips:

Tear that person down constantly. Dash their hopes, belittle them, poke holes in their beliefs, tell them how their good qualities are their flaws

Then, put them on a pedestal. Tell them that their perfect, that you couldn’t live life with out them, tell them that you have all the power, that you can make any one do anything if you really wanted, all you had to do was open your legs. Tell them that you can’t help yourself around them. Tell them that they saved you.

Then, tell them that they’re too needy. Tell them that they don’t really have any friends, that their friends only hang out with them because you’re there. Tell them that you don’t even really care about those friends because you can just toy with them.  Tell them that you make all the money.

Tell them that it’s their fault that you’re peeing on their clothes, while  you were drunk. And then laugh about it later.

When they get angry tell them, remind them, that no one else would have waited as long. That you aren’t worth the wait. Remind them that all those other people would have left long before if they hadn’t gotten to fuck you. Remind them how that makes you such a good person.

The trick is to make that person an object. Strip them down till nothing exists except what you say exists. You have rolled them out, forged the cookie cutter, and pressed down. Now you have your perfectly shaped customized abuse toy.

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3 responses

18 12 2013
boorf

‘that you can make any one do anything if you really wanted, all you had to do was open your legs.’

you know he actually told me this too – the whole thing about power (when we were having one of our long email things we used to do and it devolved into argument about feminism that upset me so much i ran into my bathroom retching and it was JUST AN EMAIL). I think about it sometimes. I think it was the first point that I realized like the extent to which he did not respect women as a ‘whole’

13 12 2013
amiablenotagreeable

What happened was not your fault. Believing some one loves you and wanting the best out of some one isn’t a fault. Being loyal isn’t a fault.

You aren’t stupid for not seeing the signs. This wasn’t your fault. Remember he didn’t just fool you, but do you think his “good christian” family, who raised him, knows this about him?

The things that we are told about love. By society, from the earliest ages. Are almost all unhealthy.

I know how hard it is. When I start to have self blame I have to write out some of the things he did, big or small that were just terrible. The more I examine the relationship, the more coercion I see.

Over and over I think how could I have let this happen? How did I become this woman? How did I let him rape me? Don’t I know better?

It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t my fault. The self blame lulls, but not with out work. I recommend if you aren’t already, writing. Write it all out. As much as you can.

When you start to doubt yourself because of something that he said, that has stuck with you: Consider the source of the statement.

I love you Tiffany, you are a strong, amazing, loving person. Never forget that you are resilient. But that doesn’t mean that you bounce back immediately or that you ever “get over it”. Resilience comes from being able to love yourself no matter what. You deserve your own love. Remember that. Remember that you deserve your own love, that you are loved. That you are not alone. And that it wasn’t your fault. (as hard as that is sometimes)

11 12 2013
Tiffany

This… this is all so accurate. I kick myself every day for not recognizing these signs earlier.

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